Monday, March 30, 2009

Your Facebook Correspondence Sucks

When I was younger and an idiot, I would occasionally find myself having an interesting conversation in a bar that I was pretty sure some of the nearby patrons would really enjoy. I would not be so brash as to turn to them and go "can you believe this?" Instead I would talk a bit louder, angle my body a bit to lure them in, and you know what?

It never worked!

you know what else?

You're doing it too! Only instead of being 22 and drunk you're 29 and sober. And everyone around you is sober, and Facebook is going to leave those messages up so long Andre the Giant stickers will get jealous.

We don't care, none of us, the people who are close enough to you to accept your digital friendship. Instead of publicly shouting your insincere hellos back and forth, why don't you construct an actual message of thought?

I suppose that would be too hard. Take too much effort when all you wanted to say was, "I had the kale salad at M de Chaya and it was off today, how are you?"

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