Friday, October 12, 2007

Robert Zemeckis Sucks

First it was Forest Gump. A debasive movie if there ever was one. Then there was "Contact" which is one of my favorite books, and I guess fortunately, the movie has about zero similarities and can be pretty much written off as another atempt to talk down to "the common folk"

Specifically the scene where she meets her dad who is actually an alien. In the book, she wakes up on a beach. Just a beach. No rippling walls, nothing weird at all. For all she knows it's all been a dream. But the movie needs those rippling walls. Needs to tell Jodie Foster and thus all the dumbasses in the audience who might have been asleep while her face was tearing off in wormholes (which was also dumb, but whatev) that she is on some alien planet house magic place, and thus ruining one of the key points in the book that these aliens are so fucking advanced it's straight up beyond your comprehension.

Sorry to curse there.

So Zemeckis is now doing zombie films, which usually i'm really into, but the last one was about Tom Hanks on the north pole, and the next one is taking the idea even further and merging the two worst ideas in animation, all-celebrity casts and "photoreal" humans and telling the story of Beowulf, which i haven't read and now really don't want to after that trailer.

They say that they are doing it all CG because of the way the main dude needs to age in the film, which can only be read as Zemeckis pissing in the mouth of every SFX makeup dude ever (maybe he never saw Amadeus?). Photoreal humans is a TERRIBLE idea. Dennis Muren had it right like fifteen years ago when he said it's impossible because all we, as humans, do every day, is look and interact with other humans, so the smallest things will immediately chuck you right into the uncanny valley.

I'm not against motion capture, or "performance capture" (puke), and in the case of something like Golem, or Davy Jones it makes perfect sense. In both cases the characters were stellar. They were also very not-human. All redoing known actors digitally does is allow you to change the camera angles after you've shot it. That's it. There is no other advantage. Even George Lucas used humans for his human characters.

I guess Cast Away was an accident.

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