Dive Bars Suck

Here's a tip, when you move to Los Angeles and want everyone to know you're new to town, but don't want to say "I'm new to town" you say this instead,

"I'm looking for a sweet dive bar,"

It's code. Don't worry, we'll keep it on the DL. Also, you could get excited about all the "industry" people you meet, but whatever.

Even drunks like a nice place to booze, they just can't afford it. Now if you are looking for a cheap place to drink, that is called your apartment. If you find an actual dive bar here in my lovely town, congratulations. Now run. Real dive bars have real people in them. People who get hammered at noon and go home and beat the holy hell out of their kids.

So give up the dream. Go over to some expensive place that doesn't wash the floor, say the Burgundy Room, and make that place your jam.