Saturday, January 26, 2008
Open World Game Design Sucks.
Imagine, for a second, that you are Mario. Only, instead of having a linear path to run down and bricks to punch, you don't HAVE to do anything. You can go anywhere and do whatever you want. No more Shigeru Miyamoto breathing down your neck, forcing you to slide down that flagpole and get on to 1-2.
Screw that timer. Bop your head on that coin brick for hours. Jump on those pipes! Wasn't that fun? Chase Starman! Go ahead. Welcome to the world of "Open World Game Design".
I blame Grand Theft Auto 3, which while I think the series is about as innovative as Tomb Raider (Tomb Raider being noted in this case for becoming legendary on the merits of the first game, which was remade six or seven times over the next ten years with no significant improvements), I do respect GTA 3 for being a proper game.
GTA 3 sold very well and a large portion of that was because the game was so immeasurably fun to dick around in. Most of the actual "game" (e.g. the "missions") are forgettable, but it didn't matter cos the whole world was there to mess with. You could try to atract the attention of the FBI and steal their cars. You could jump cars over stuff, and of course, run people over.
All good fun.
The problem really started to show itself with the magnum opus "San Andreas" which was just damn giant. Instead of tightening up their rather loose game (it's a poor driving game, a poor shooting game, a poor action game, etc etc) to behave to the standards of something like Devil May Cry or Metal Gear, they left it glitchy and loose and instead used up all their money making the game obscenely huge. The game is so damn big, you can spend half an hour in transit. Just going from A to B, 30 minutes down the shitter.
This is open world gaming. Lose, sloppy gameplay and ever increasing worlds.
I stopped playing San Andreas after about a day. I like games that let me steal cars, bone chicks and drive fast. I don't need a traffic simulator. Ever since then, the idea of open world games makes me wanna puke.
But the worst thing, and what made me waste an hour of sleep to type this, is the way the game progression is inevitably built into these games. You go to an area, get some kind of objective, then go accomplish said objective. That's the pattern. If you blow said objective, you go BACK to the starting area and repeat.
In Mario terms: You die halfway though a level, and instead of restarting at the beginning (or even having a FUCKING OPTION TO), you have to get your ass up, and march back to the starting point. There won't be any fun to be had along the way. Just that march to get back to where you want to be.
There will be many, many marches to get where you want to be.
You see, while games are constantly trying to be more "realistic" they end up getting in the way of fun. I don't wanna have to go around and collect all the good weapons every time I die in GTA. I don't want a bunch of busywork put in there for seemingly no reason. The open world situation forces you into busywork. Running around accomplishing menial tasks to enable your primary goal.
Wasting your time in uninteresting ways.
So, I was already a bit apprehensive when I got the new Burnout. I've always loved the series for it's to the point presentation. Wanna drive fast? Do a race. Wanna crash cars, do crash mode. Easy ins, easy outs. Pure fun. But the new one is in an Open World.
No more menus.
I fucking swear, you'd think that Menus raped the parents of every game developer out there for the spite they have for them. They made a game where you drive blind through the streets of London because Maps are "Menus". Menus aren't realistic and shit. Hi, I'm the one over here PLAYING A GAME!
I do not give a shit about menus. I do give a shit about running a race, blowing it and having to drive back uptown for the next two minutes just to redo it. I do give a shit about how much time that wastes. I give a shit that to add a "start the fuck over" button would have been very easy but for some inexplicable reason was left out.
I love the Burnout developers, and I think they are truly innovative, but FUCK does this suck in the game. I know people say that there's so much to do you can just move on, but sometimes I wanna play a game like I play Mario, which is to say beat that little plumbers head into every rock till I pass a specific part. To learn that one level. To really get it down, without having to do it backwards every time as well.
So while people say you do warm to the game, I'm very upset with it now. And above that, i'm pissed with everyone who thinks that no menus is good and open world is even better. SSX started to suck right when they went to an "open world" (number 3 motherfuckers. Tell those idiots at EA to hire Rahzel again and go back to levels. Shit, just remake the first one. It's still the best--talk about a series where no one making the sequels seemed to know why people were stoked on it...)
I do have to give the Burnout crew credit for trying something new, but much like the GTA guys just making their game bigger, I don't think it was the right decision.
Screw that timer. Bop your head on that coin brick for hours. Jump on those pipes! Wasn't that fun? Chase Starman! Go ahead. Welcome to the world of "Open World Game Design".
I blame Grand Theft Auto 3, which while I think the series is about as innovative as Tomb Raider (Tomb Raider being noted in this case for becoming legendary on the merits of the first game, which was remade six or seven times over the next ten years with no significant improvements), I do respect GTA 3 for being a proper game.
GTA 3 sold very well and a large portion of that was because the game was so immeasurably fun to dick around in. Most of the actual "game" (e.g. the "missions") are forgettable, but it didn't matter cos the whole world was there to mess with. You could try to atract the attention of the FBI and steal their cars. You could jump cars over stuff, and of course, run people over.
All good fun.
The problem really started to show itself with the magnum opus "San Andreas" which was just damn giant. Instead of tightening up their rather loose game (it's a poor driving game, a poor shooting game, a poor action game, etc etc) to behave to the standards of something like Devil May Cry or Metal Gear, they left it glitchy and loose and instead used up all their money making the game obscenely huge. The game is so damn big, you can spend half an hour in transit. Just going from A to B, 30 minutes down the shitter.
This is open world gaming. Lose, sloppy gameplay and ever increasing worlds.
I stopped playing San Andreas after about a day. I like games that let me steal cars, bone chicks and drive fast. I don't need a traffic simulator. Ever since then, the idea of open world games makes me wanna puke.
But the worst thing, and what made me waste an hour of sleep to type this, is the way the game progression is inevitably built into these games. You go to an area, get some kind of objective, then go accomplish said objective. That's the pattern. If you blow said objective, you go BACK to the starting area and repeat.
In Mario terms: You die halfway though a level, and instead of restarting at the beginning (or even having a FUCKING OPTION TO), you have to get your ass up, and march back to the starting point. There won't be any fun to be had along the way. Just that march to get back to where you want to be.
There will be many, many marches to get where you want to be.
You see, while games are constantly trying to be more "realistic" they end up getting in the way of fun. I don't wanna have to go around and collect all the good weapons every time I die in GTA. I don't want a bunch of busywork put in there for seemingly no reason. The open world situation forces you into busywork. Running around accomplishing menial tasks to enable your primary goal.
Wasting your time in uninteresting ways.
So, I was already a bit apprehensive when I got the new Burnout. I've always loved the series for it's to the point presentation. Wanna drive fast? Do a race. Wanna crash cars, do crash mode. Easy ins, easy outs. Pure fun. But the new one is in an Open World.
No more menus.
I fucking swear, you'd think that Menus raped the parents of every game developer out there for the spite they have for them. They made a game where you drive blind through the streets of London because Maps are "Menus". Menus aren't realistic and shit. Hi, I'm the one over here PLAYING A GAME!
I do not give a shit about menus. I do give a shit about running a race, blowing it and having to drive back uptown for the next two minutes just to redo it. I do give a shit about how much time that wastes. I give a shit that to add a "start the fuck over" button would have been very easy but for some inexplicable reason was left out.
I love the Burnout developers, and I think they are truly innovative, but FUCK does this suck in the game. I know people say that there's so much to do you can just move on, but sometimes I wanna play a game like I play Mario, which is to say beat that little plumbers head into every rock till I pass a specific part. To learn that one level. To really get it down, without having to do it backwards every time as well.
So while people say you do warm to the game, I'm very upset with it now. And above that, i'm pissed with everyone who thinks that no menus is good and open world is even better. SSX started to suck right when they went to an "open world" (number 3 motherfuckers. Tell those idiots at EA to hire Rahzel again and go back to levels. Shit, just remake the first one. It's still the best--talk about a series where no one making the sequels seemed to know why people were stoked on it...)
I do have to give the Burnout crew credit for trying something new, but much like the GTA guys just making their game bigger, I don't think it was the right decision.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Smash Lab Sucks
It's a new show on Discovery. Comes on, lo and behold, after Mythbusters. The ads tell me that it's similar to Mythbusters, but apparently with more destruction (which while hard to fathom, ought to be true based on the title of the show. It looks like "Boom" but with some science.
I'm at minute 25 of an episode where they use this amazing material, carbon fiber (a cloth!) to make things stronger. Apparently jets are made out of it.
So, to test the strength of this stuff (it's cloth!) they take a 2x4 and cover it (staggeringly poorly) in carbon fiber. Then they test it against a control of another, un carbon fiber'd (cloth!) 2x4, by, get this, having all four of them stand on it.
Well good for them that it takes exactly all four of them to snap the wood, and they cannot manage to snap the carbon fiber'd 2x4.
That's to be expected, but all they've proven is it got stronger. they haven't shown why it's in fighter jets. They've shown that if you epoxy some carbon fiber over a 2x4 it can hold at least more than it could before.
Spreading raspberry jam on denim and wrapping a 2x4 would add that much strength. So would just epoxying the thing. So would fiberglass. So what's so special about the cloth???
How about you assholes get an inch more of a budget and go get some weights. Obviously you found that your 750 pounds busts a 2x4. Get some actual weights so you can see how much your poorly carbon fiber'd one can handle. The porn's in the numbers for this. If that reinforced 2x4 can hold five thousand pounds, that'd blow my damn mind. But i'll never know. Thanks guys!
Then they get to making a shack, for as far as I can tell, no other reason than to build it poorly and blow it apart with the backs of two airboats. Whoooo?
seriously, what was the point of that boring ass exercise other than showing me that the two people who built it aren't the best with tools.
So here we are, and they're dicking around with a mobile home to make it more hurricane resistant with carbon fiber. Maybe next week they can make it more hurricane resistant with bricks!
It's a dipshit show, and they're blowing the science end of it horribly, which I have to predict the path of the show based on this it'll be as such:
Mythbusters fans fall off pretty rapidly after posting on their blogs about the shitty science and how it's not Mythbusters. This leaves only the hillbilly jackoffs who wanna see things blow up, which should make this show last as long as "Boom" which was such a promising show, but damn if that didn't get boring after about two episodes.
Average viewership life: 1.6 episodes.
I'm at minute 25 of an episode where they use this amazing material, carbon fiber (a cloth!) to make things stronger. Apparently jets are made out of it.
So, to test the strength of this stuff (it's cloth!) they take a 2x4 and cover it (staggeringly poorly) in carbon fiber. Then they test it against a control of another, un carbon fiber'd (cloth!) 2x4, by, get this, having all four of them stand on it.
Well good for them that it takes exactly all four of them to snap the wood, and they cannot manage to snap the carbon fiber'd 2x4.
That's to be expected, but all they've proven is it got stronger. they haven't shown why it's in fighter jets. They've shown that if you epoxy some carbon fiber over a 2x4 it can hold at least more than it could before.
Spreading raspberry jam on denim and wrapping a 2x4 would add that much strength. So would just epoxying the thing. So would fiberglass. So what's so special about the cloth???
How about you assholes get an inch more of a budget and go get some weights. Obviously you found that your 750 pounds busts a 2x4. Get some actual weights so you can see how much your poorly carbon fiber'd one can handle. The porn's in the numbers for this. If that reinforced 2x4 can hold five thousand pounds, that'd blow my damn mind. But i'll never know. Thanks guys!
Then they get to making a shack, for as far as I can tell, no other reason than to build it poorly and blow it apart with the backs of two airboats. Whoooo?
seriously, what was the point of that boring ass exercise other than showing me that the two people who built it aren't the best with tools.
So here we are, and they're dicking around with a mobile home to make it more hurricane resistant with carbon fiber. Maybe next week they can make it more hurricane resistant with bricks!
It's a dipshit show, and they're blowing the science end of it horribly, which I have to predict the path of the show based on this it'll be as such:
Mythbusters fans fall off pretty rapidly after posting on their blogs about the shitty science and how it's not Mythbusters. This leaves only the hillbilly jackoffs who wanna see things blow up, which should make this show last as long as "Boom" which was such a promising show, but damn if that didn't get boring after about two episodes.
Average viewership life: 1.6 episodes.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Korean Air sucks
I've always been of the mindset that Asian carriers are superior to domestic ones when flying to Asia. This has always been the case for me. I've flown Northwest, Singapore and JAL to Tokyo and Malaysia to Taipei in the past, and Singapore, Malaysia and JAL had similar levels of service and amenities on the plane.
By amenities and service I mean some simple things: beer and a TV in the seat back in front of me. The TV must have multiple current movies for free and on-demand. Singapore, Malaysia and JAL all have that. So i've always championed the Asian carriers.
On this trip, it was, if I had to guess, $40 cheaper to fly Korean than Singapore. My friend have flown Korean in the past and gave it good marks, even after I told them about the awesomeness of Singapore. So I buy Korean. I'm batting 1000 on Asian carriers at this point afterall.
It starts at check in. I make sure Matt and I get there stupidly early. We're about tenth in line. Get up to the front and the guy checks us in to the center group, an aisle and a nothing seat. I ask for an exit row, which he says he can't get us. Strikes 1 and 2. Dude should see that i'm one of the top ten tallest people getting on that damn plane and give it to me straight up. At least offer it. But no, this pillar of light sticks us in the center of the plane. I ask if we can get a window (Matt likes windows, even on transpacific flights), so he punches in some stuff and we get one. I then find out that the seating is 2-5-2, which makes the fact that he checked two dudes into the 5 across area when he could have stuck us in our own little private area straight up, well fucking strike 3.
I'd knock them down a point for not flying us over on a 747, but I suppose word's already gotten out that their seat assigning sucks and they don't have enough asses in seats to justify the big-boy plane.
Truth be told, all this is forgivable. Could have just gotten the wrong guy to check us in, and the way the 777 is laid out, there aren't many actual exit rows, if any (though a front row, of which there are plenty, would have sufficed). All this is fine so long as you've got your plentiful beer and a sweet selection of movies in your personal TV.
No TV's. It's like I am flying Northwest. That is straight up not forgivable in this day and age. Strike fucking 4. No TV. 12 hours in a fucking seat and no TV. On some flights they have them, cos the fucking magazine showed me what I could be watching, but none on my flight. Just two movies on some shitty projection TVs and a couple of tiny monitors to strain your eyes on. It's 1985 again.
Then there's the beer. Now, back in the day, first time I flew Singapore, I was downright shocked at two things. The first was that they up front asked me if I'd like a beer, and made pretty much sure that I had one for the whole flight. It was probably only six beers, but they were so forthcoming with it that I fell in love, not with the notoriously attractive Singapore flight attendants, but with the fact that they kept giving me beer. BEER! On American flights I'd have had to pay five bucks for that.
JAL and Malaysia were similar in the forthcomingness of beer. Korean gave me A beer. they came around a few more times with juice pre-poured in glasses, but I think the drink cart only made the rounds once. ONCE! A Jet Blue flight that's less than an hour gets the drinks out that much! Just insanity. So needless to say the flight sucked.
The flight back sucked more, because I slept through my one beer opportunity, and then we hit some turbulence which maintained off and on for most of the flight. That would be okay cos I understand Korean Air has no control over the weather. But they do have control over the cabin lights which they would exercise arbitrarily as we hit rough spots. Other than causing excessive panic, I don't see the logic of kicking on the lights after a good bump.
So yeah, Korean sucks. And to add insult to injury, as we walked out of the plane in LA, all the TVs were advertising the little TVs and on-demand movies that they have in their seats.
Next time, I'm spending the extra cash and flying Singapore.
By amenities and service I mean some simple things: beer and a TV in the seat back in front of me. The TV must have multiple current movies for free and on-demand. Singapore, Malaysia and JAL all have that. So i've always championed the Asian carriers.
On this trip, it was, if I had to guess, $40 cheaper to fly Korean than Singapore. My friend have flown Korean in the past and gave it good marks, even after I told them about the awesomeness of Singapore. So I buy Korean. I'm batting 1000 on Asian carriers at this point afterall.
It starts at check in. I make sure Matt and I get there stupidly early. We're about tenth in line. Get up to the front and the guy checks us in to the center group, an aisle and a nothing seat. I ask for an exit row, which he says he can't get us. Strikes 1 and 2. Dude should see that i'm one of the top ten tallest people getting on that damn plane and give it to me straight up. At least offer it. But no, this pillar of light sticks us in the center of the plane. I ask if we can get a window (Matt likes windows, even on transpacific flights), so he punches in some stuff and we get one. I then find out that the seating is 2-5-2, which makes the fact that he checked two dudes into the 5 across area when he could have stuck us in our own little private area straight up, well fucking strike 3.
I'd knock them down a point for not flying us over on a 747, but I suppose word's already gotten out that their seat assigning sucks and they don't have enough asses in seats to justify the big-boy plane.
Truth be told, all this is forgivable. Could have just gotten the wrong guy to check us in, and the way the 777 is laid out, there aren't many actual exit rows, if any (though a front row, of which there are plenty, would have sufficed). All this is fine so long as you've got your plentiful beer and a sweet selection of movies in your personal TV.
No TV's. It's like I am flying Northwest. That is straight up not forgivable in this day and age. Strike fucking 4. No TV. 12 hours in a fucking seat and no TV. On some flights they have them, cos the fucking magazine showed me what I could be watching, but none on my flight. Just two movies on some shitty projection TVs and a couple of tiny monitors to strain your eyes on. It's 1985 again.
Then there's the beer. Now, back in the day, first time I flew Singapore, I was downright shocked at two things. The first was that they up front asked me if I'd like a beer, and made pretty much sure that I had one for the whole flight. It was probably only six beers, but they were so forthcoming with it that I fell in love, not with the notoriously attractive Singapore flight attendants, but with the fact that they kept giving me beer. BEER! On American flights I'd have had to pay five bucks for that.
JAL and Malaysia were similar in the forthcomingness of beer. Korean gave me A beer. they came around a few more times with juice pre-poured in glasses, but I think the drink cart only made the rounds once. ONCE! A Jet Blue flight that's less than an hour gets the drinks out that much! Just insanity. So needless to say the flight sucked.
The flight back sucked more, because I slept through my one beer opportunity, and then we hit some turbulence which maintained off and on for most of the flight. That would be okay cos I understand Korean Air has no control over the weather. But they do have control over the cabin lights which they would exercise arbitrarily as we hit rough spots. Other than causing excessive panic, I don't see the logic of kicking on the lights after a good bump.
So yeah, Korean sucks. And to add insult to injury, as we walked out of the plane in LA, all the TVs were advertising the little TVs and on-demand movies that they have in their seats.
Next time, I'm spending the extra cash and flying Singapore.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Square Enix Sucks
In the store the other day to pick up Ace Combat 6, I notice a few titles from old standby Square Enix. Pretty much every one of them is worth buying.
And so I bought all of them.
TEN FUCKING YEARS AGO!
There are like five fucking remakes in the past two years of Final Fantasy 1 alone. It's a fine game, but shit man. You can't make like, another one with an equally as simple story with a minor shift in gameplay? I mean that tactic got you all the way up to 12 sequels, so why have you become the Japanese Final Fantasy Lucasarts?
Give me a retooled Einhander, Xenogears, Chrono Trigger + Cross. Or shit, here's a fucking idea... MAKE SEQUELS TO ALL OF THEM.
Yeah, even Xenogears, cos Xenosaga is the most insulting pile of shit in the video game world.
All the company does now is remake Final Fantasy games. And not even the one people actually want (hint: it's after 6 and before 8), but just GBA and DS and PSP remakes of the first six in the series, only with like, marginally better graphics an some new monsters and weapons, to you know, force you to throw another 100 hours of your life into a 16 bit hole.
I'll admit, playing FF 4 and 6 on an airplane is the fucking jam, but mother of god, as I watch my PS3 dry up and die from a lack of any significant games, I can't help but think of how badass some new (gasp) IP from Square Enix could be.
But as far as I can tell, they fired all the guys who came up w/ Chrono, Xeno, Einhander and Tobal. So say hello to the shitfest that will be final fantasy 13 and it's 30 variations.
And so I bought all of them.
TEN FUCKING YEARS AGO!
There are like five fucking remakes in the past two years of Final Fantasy 1 alone. It's a fine game, but shit man. You can't make like, another one with an equally as simple story with a minor shift in gameplay? I mean that tactic got you all the way up to 12 sequels, so why have you become the Japanese Final Fantasy Lucasarts?
Give me a retooled Einhander, Xenogears, Chrono Trigger + Cross. Or shit, here's a fucking idea... MAKE SEQUELS TO ALL OF THEM.
Yeah, even Xenogears, cos Xenosaga is the most insulting pile of shit in the video game world.
All the company does now is remake Final Fantasy games. And not even the one people actually want (hint: it's after 6 and before 8), but just GBA and DS and PSP remakes of the first six in the series, only with like, marginally better graphics an some new monsters and weapons, to you know, force you to throw another 100 hours of your life into a 16 bit hole.
I'll admit, playing FF 4 and 6 on an airplane is the fucking jam, but mother of god, as I watch my PS3 dry up and die from a lack of any significant games, I can't help but think of how badass some new (gasp) IP from Square Enix could be.
But as far as I can tell, they fired all the guys who came up w/ Chrono, Xeno, Einhander and Tobal. So say hello to the shitfest that will be final fantasy 13 and it's 30 variations.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Al Gore Sucks
He got a nobel peace price for being a narrator. And an academy award. And other shit. Narrator. You wanna talk about shitty things going on in this world, the Nobel commission giving out their highest award to a narrator is pretty high on the list. Who's next? George Clooney?
And now people are like "He should run for president!"
No. No he should not. He should narrate more eco-fearmongering movies, but not run for president. I know people say he's less of a robot now, but I saw him speak recently; he's still a robot.
And now people are like "He should run for president!"
No. No he should not. He should narrate more eco-fearmongering movies, but not run for president. I know people say he's less of a robot now, but I saw him speak recently; he's still a robot.
People Who Donate to Public Radio Suck
Do I really need to hear you out and out tell me how much better a person you are than I am? Last night there was a bumper from a (self) satisfied donator to public radio that said public radio made you smarter.
While i'd like to give to NPR at some point, hearing the testimonials of those who have given piss me off. Every single one is a passive aggressive guilt trip. I am so important and worldly cos I got my free (actual cost to you via your donation: $120) mug that I am totally cool with coming down to the station to tell everyone else how awesome I am.
Yeah, I can drop by anytime. I don't really have a job. I just sit around and get mad about republicans all day.
also: s + mug.
While i'd like to give to NPR at some point, hearing the testimonials of those who have given piss me off. Every single one is a passive aggressive guilt trip. I am so important and worldly cos I got my free (actual cost to you via your donation: $120) mug that I am totally cool with coming down to the station to tell everyone else how awesome I am.
Yeah, I can drop by anytime. I don't really have a job. I just sit around and get mad about republicans all day.
also: s + mug.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Word Tattoos Suck
Megan Fox. Hot right? Only she has this:
Read that. Let your dick go soft. It won't take long.
Read that. Let your dick go soft. It won't take long.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Democrats Suck
I don't like Republicans either but at least they are consistent and only aim to please the religious right (which if you start thinking about the relationship to there, it's very insulting to the intelligence of both sides, but anyway...)
It's really Al Gore trying to kiss his wife in 2000. More than anything that was when I was like "shit, you guys suck", and ending up with John Kerry (four total bills sponsored in however many years, one about dolphins) trying to seem like something other than a rich socialite. Aat least Bush just goes dumb to hide his elite upbringing (again with the insulting to both sides).
So Al Gore is there, trying to prove that he's not a robot, but a man of passion and he kisses his wife. At least, that's how you'd imagine it had you read about it. What actually when down was so unsettling I'd rather think about Larry Craig doing his 'thing'. If Al Gore has ever kissed his wife, he hadn't done it in a long time. I'd put it up there with watching porn with your parents while they make out.
And that's the issue: Don't be what you aren't. Don't pretend you're sald of the earth when you're a rich privelidged guy. Don't try to be a man of passion when you can't even kiss your wife. If you absolutely have to fake it go republican and follow some nice strict guidelines. It's embarrassing.
Oh, and actually be passionate about something, but not like, creepy about it. Dennis Kucinich is someone I should back, but he's too eco and too glib and too the world can be all roses. He may be right, but I'm not ready to make such a drastic shift, even if I think I want to.
It's really Al Gore trying to kiss his wife in 2000. More than anything that was when I was like "shit, you guys suck", and ending up with John Kerry (four total bills sponsored in however many years, one about dolphins) trying to seem like something other than a rich socialite. Aat least Bush just goes dumb to hide his elite upbringing (again with the insulting to both sides).
So Al Gore is there, trying to prove that he's not a robot, but a man of passion and he kisses his wife. At least, that's how you'd imagine it had you read about it. What actually when down was so unsettling I'd rather think about Larry Craig doing his 'thing'. If Al Gore has ever kissed his wife, he hadn't done it in a long time. I'd put it up there with watching porn with your parents while they make out.
And that's the issue: Don't be what you aren't. Don't pretend you're sald of the earth when you're a rich privelidged guy. Don't try to be a man of passion when you can't even kiss your wife. If you absolutely have to fake it go republican and follow some nice strict guidelines. It's embarrassing.
Oh, and actually be passionate about something, but not like, creepy about it. Dennis Kucinich is someone I should back, but he's too eco and too glib and too the world can be all roses. He may be right, but I'm not ready to make such a drastic shift, even if I think I want to.
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