The Iphone Sucks

Funny story, I thought about writing "Steve Job's ideal sexual object is 5 feet 7 inches of high grade plastic with a 1 inch bevel on the sides and a 1 and 1/3 inch hole, bored and polished in the center," and then I thought to myself, "What if that makes Steve Jobs sad?" and almost didn't write it.

Then I remembered that he's a billionaire and will probably get over it.

So yeah, fuck his phone. Fuck my phone. I have one and no i'm not trading it up. Two simple reasons: Visual Voicemail and Google Maps.

Fuck the app store, weather, stocks, even email and web. All that's glitter.

Maps and Voicemail keep me there. I'm dying for anyone to come out with a competitor that can do the seemingly simple tasks of allowing me to easily listen to voicemail, and to show me how to get places.

Everything else however, is just a reminder how Apple wants my money. Even ringtones cost money (I know there's hacks and I use em, it's the principle of it). Apple's getting out of the "buy our shit and break the law" mode and into "buy our shit, then use it to buy more of our shit" model, which I'm sure looks great on paper.

It does erode at least my brand loyalty to them however. Ipods were great. Even the Itunes store was more like a front than an attempt to make money. Not now. Buy the phone, buy some apps, get advertised to on other ones (that's an awesome new feature!)

Oh yeah.

Tactile feedback. That's where the Jobs fucking plastic boards came in. Between the new default mac keyboard (which even after using for months i'm still blowing it on) and the iphone, Jobs is looking to destroy all tactile feedback.

Sure doing the finger swishing is cool, but I can't even use the phone to take a picture as easily as my RAZR would. I can't tell you how many times my thumb was not hitting the button. See also using the calcluator, stopwatch and any other thing where it'd be a totally sweet thing, if only you didn't have to be looking at or prepping your hand to hit the button. I want to feel that I've hit the button, not wait to hear a delayed shutter sound that is inaudible under most urban conditions.